I’ve been thinking a lot lately about my connection with my friends. The bond that I share with them. Why certain people are my friends. It’s common knowledge that friends are brought together by a commonality. Sometimes it’s something as little as being a team sports fan and sometimes it’s even bigger than that.
I think about family and how we are born into them and sometimes you get along with them and sometimes you don’t. Most of the time people learn to live with their family, differences and all. Thankfully, I get along wonderfully with my brother and sisters. Though we are extremely different in many ways, we have a common support, love, faith, and understanding amongst each other that makes our relationship comfortable and deep. I know how obvious this sounds- they are my siblings so of course we will have love, support, faith and understanding. Wrong. I know so many people who are not close to their siblings. Some don’t even talk, some know that at the end of the day they would be there, but I am even luckier than that. I have siblings who are active participants in my life and I am incredibly thankful for that.
Anyway, family you are born into but friends you choose. Friends are like a second family, sometimes a first for some people. You can pick and choose them, try them out and get rid of them at will. They turn into family when, no matter what, you know that holding on to them is the only option. When you know that no matter what you will always have them and you will always give yourself to them.
(Just a side note to the above paragraph- I have lost friends who I thought were family but not everything will turn out the way you choose. I learn to trust again through the people who have proved themselves as family to me)
I am on a bus to NYC at this very moment, sitting next to one of my best friends. I am going to hang out with a bunch of people during my stay in NYC but including my best friend next to me, there are about 4 of them who I also hold really close to my heart. I am so excited about this trip because I am going to be surrounded with people who are my second family. Struggle has single-handedly unified my relationships with these people. Whether its heartbreak or loss, questioning career life choices or critically self reflecting, fear or uncertainty- these 4 people have felt with a depth that I have felt and it brings us that much closer because we can understand. I know that if I needed anything I could turn to one of these friends for absolutely anything, and I have. I have had them drive miles out to take care of me. I have made frantic, emotional, pathetic phone calls. I have unloaded my deepest and darkest secrets to these people with the trust that they will never leave. And I know they won’t. (Side note- to you four people, you know who you are, I will always be here for you but I think you know that).
I don’t think my life is horrible. Sometimes I get tripped up by experiences that are sometimes too hard to handle, but I have people who will help me carry the weight when I feel too weak. I am about to spend three days with four of these people. FOUR. I feel so blessed. These are the people who give me temporary amnesia. They help me forget when life gets hard. They give me hope, faith, love, belief that I will be okay. They see me in a light that sometimes I can’t see myself in. These are the people who I am 100% comfortable around. The ones who I am extremely crazy around. The ones who have seen my emotional, sensitive side. The ones who know that I have been hardened by certain experiences. The ones who understand what I am saying when I am not using words. The ones who I don’t filter around. The ones who can read me like an open book even though I am extremely difficult and complex. Their presence in my life simply speaks for itself and without each one of them I do believe I would be dreaming and believing a little less. So to my family (and to your family)- keep being you. You are incredible and YOU make a difference in my life.
Sincerely I sign off…(with the anxiety and anticipation and excitement for an incredible weekend full of deep conversation, laughter, music, food and some of the people who hold pieces of my heart)
S.K.
