My Faith, Your Doubt

I make my mistakes,

I have my unfortunate regrets,

and I can screw everything

up in the blink of an eye,

but I’m only human.

I have those days where

struggle and negativity

decide to shadow me for

protection so everything

goes only their way,

and those nights where the

search for happiness explodes

out of my heart and cuddles with

me as mere loneliness in my bed.

I question everything I should know

and have been taught and

wonder how it’s all going to

turn out for me…

But, let’s be honest here

It’s not me,

It’s you.

You’ve managed to selfishly

turn my insecurities

and concerns with my own life

into your worst nightmares.

You spit your words at me

and I try to digest them,

but again and again you

cut old wounds with

your impulsive anger

I’ve taken a little space to

meditate on what’s next and

you’ve interpreted my silence

as mere weakness,

so you remind me day in, day out

how much I’ve become the

ultimate disappointment

and I nod in submissive agreement

because I know

that when ive finally found

peace between my

mind and heart

I will explode into colors

SO bright

that I will shock

you into submission

and trust me,

You will be sorry that you

Ever had the nerve to

question whether

I was capable enough

to make it.

So, let’s be honest here

It’s not me,

It’s you.